The Encyclopedia of Exes by Meredith Broussard

Author:Meredith Broussard
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307336972
Publisher: Crown/Archetype
Published: 2005-09-27T04:00:00+00:00

I devoted myself to two things: eating and looking to see if I was really, really the only person left alive. Eating was fairly easy. There were lots of canned goods around that survived the blasts and here and there I found things growing on trees. Not the most exciting cuisine, but I’ve never been picky about food. Confirming that I was the only person left alive was pretty easy, too. I continued to spend my days wandering around shouting, “Is anyone there?” or “Yooohooo!” or sometimes just singing. No one ever answered. At night, I’d make a fire out of a destroyed house and try to remember my old friends, replay in my mind the stuff we used to do, or just try and remember all their names.

But mostly I’d try to picture who I’d like to have here with me and what we’d do together. I thought about Marion, the one real girlfriend I’d had in life, and it was nice to picture her sitting beside me sometimes. But when I focused on that image too closely, I’d remember how quickly we ran out of stuff to talk about back then, and how we really got on each other’s nerves, and I’d realize there was no reason to imagine it would be any easier now that everyone was dead. I tried a lot to come up with my dream girl, invent the perfect companion for myself and while I could imagine many of her attributes (long hair, kind of awkward, loves sci-fi) I was never able to bring all those pieces together in my mind, wrap them around one complete image to keep myself company with. I’d try to draw her on the ground with a stick, but I’m not much of an artist and the results would never look like anyone you’d want to have around, much less make out with.

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